Naive & Stupid Me

Juz now when i was bathing, i cried. Maybe cuz i was hurted since yesterday.....I was late for the movie, so she smsed us that those who late juz take a cab over. Then i was juz causually replying "then u pay for my movie lo.", i dint expect her to reply "so thicked skin ah, ask me to treat u.", something lydat. So i was incredibly shocked! Yeah...cuz i realli dint expect that, cuz whenever she dun have enough $$$ i juz say i pay for her first n pay me when she have de $$$ or she have how much den pay lo...if not is ok de...juz wan to watch movie n enjoy with us...and i dint ask her back for my $$$. Cuz talking $$$ in all relationship hurts, and well..she juz said that to me~ Like "what de hell?", a casual asking or joking n she juz said it that way?! Very "F", realli very de "F", and "F" I am hurt! And the moment she replied that and all that come to my mind was "is this de way i got treated after all de....." Sigh...i realli sad.....Then juz now when i was chatting with her thru msn...and i realized that it wasnt like last time before we argued lydat that she juz IM me de moment she is online! Sad huh?! and i told her to "forgive n forget n i am sorrie n i used to be stubborn" kinda things and "God made me realized n all", yeah...juz to make both she n me feel better....anyway still dun think the whole argument thing lies on me alone la. But it dun seems that way....she replied "its different, and some things u did push u away from me." n then "maybe like what ur friends said that u dun do what u said." n then "u tot i very close to u, in fact its onli feel that way, not me." n then " u thought u know me but in fact, no one knows me, not even yihan!"!Like what de hell?! I thought i could...u know, make things batter...but it doesnt seems so...well..she was using it to refering to that day i say i can go watch POTO with her n her friends and in the end i dint turn up....well...cuz i was thinking it would be at TAMP so i agreed on de very first sms. Sigh...so far...and i finally off of cuz sleep la! Dint rest sincei started work lo! Plz do spare a thought for me....pls~ And maybe it is juz too naive of me to believe that she n jo would accept me for who i am...sigh...realli naive n stupid of me...realli....and now i juz feel so empty...realli cant trust anyone anymore....no one...and i can feel de great part that i am once again drifting away from them and yet not attracted to any clique...none~ i juz feel so.......lonely...as if i am living alone on an island. Sorrie for de "F" words...cuz i realli damn hurt n onli de "F" word can describe....and i am not scolding anyone with that word realli, dun be sensitive, ok? Juz wanna vent my anger!....goodnight n sweet dreams to everyone~